Welcome to my blog!

I started this blog to share the ups and downs of real life. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the mundane, the insane...you get the picture. Why??? For no other purpose than to encourage others who are raising a family, going through the ups and downs of life, letting you know you are not alone, and that we are not all epic failures for having a life that is not perfect!!!



Sunday, August 19, 2012

Ok, I Got This...

Well, here I am.  5 weeks post op from my brain surgery.  Incision has healed nicely, although my perfectly shaped bald head is a bit misshapen in the back now.  (Easily hidden with hats). 

My emotions aren't so out of control anymore, and I actually had a pretty good week this past week.  Tried to pick up some of my normal schedule-coffee with friends, my walks are up to about 4 blocks, church meeting, bible study.  Handled it pretty well, until it hit me on Saturday.  (Well, Friday really).  I'm still very easily fatigued, and still a little unsteady on my feet, but getting better.  Cognitively, that's another story.  It still takes me a while to get out my thoughts.  Still slurring my words, especially when I'm tired.  Still feeling a little pent up anger, but getting better at dealing with this.

I did come to a realization though: I got this.  It doesn't seem so overwhelming to try to get back to normal.  Well, a new normal anyway.  Somewhere, somehow, last week, bits of me were coming through.  I found my smile again, found my laugh again.  Three weeks ago, that seemed impossible.  I find that I enjoy being around people again.  Three months ago, I hated the prospect of being around people.  I got this.

I have found that I have some amazing people in my life, and I don't know why I have never noticed that before.  I have also figured out that there are people in my life who are totally draining me.  That part has to change.  I'm not chasing anymore.  I got this.

I think the biggest thing I have realized, is that I will get better.  I will go back to work, and a year from now, this will all be long gone.  I don't know what my normal will be, but I know I am changed.  and for the first time in all this, I realized I got this.  I am actually looking forward to what's ahead.  So many people with illness, diseases, don't have that security, that optimism.  And the old standby rings true-there is ALWAYS someone worse off.  Also, I feel I should mention, I haven't had this alone.  I got this-but not alone.  God has been with me every step of the way.  We got this.