Feels Like Home to Me

There are so many sayings and songs about home, home sweet home, no place like home, home for the holidays, the list goes on. And songs too, like "Sweet Home Alabama", and "I'm Goin' Home", "I'll Be Home for Christmas". The list goes on. Let me ask this- is home really a place? Is it a location? For me, it is a feeling.

A while back, when I was going through on of the darkest times of my life, and one of the most lonely times as well, I remember the only place I felt safe, secure, somewhat whole, was home. But it wasn't at my house- it was wherever my wife, and my kids and myself were all together. Whether it was home, church (we spent alot of time there in those days trying to find answers), at our family's houses, with friends, whatever, I was fine, as long as my kids were all there, and my wife was by my side. I was home. My wife and I had the most loving, supportive, caring friends anyone could ask for, but even if I was with them, and away from my kids, I was lonely. They weren't home for me.

And even in the times when I was on my face, crying out to God for help to ease the pain of an unimaginable loss, it still didn't give me the comfort I had when I was home. Even through the most exhausting times when we weren't sure my father was going to make it through another surgery, or when I was going through my own health issues, and spent almost a week in the hospital, my comfort was knowing that once I was back with my family, I was home.

See, it's the comfort of being able to hug someone who has unconditional love for you, even if you've just punished them, or argued with them. It's the feeling you get when you see your kids smile and laugh. And when you're hurting, or they're hurting, a touch, a comforting word, or just holding each other, heals the heart. When we lost our daughter before Emma, we did alot of that. I remember one night after Emily had come home from the hospital, and the kids were in bed, I was doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. That's when I cried, and grieved the losses we had. Nathan, our middle son, who is also our most sensitive and loving, came up behind me, held my hand, and said "Daddy, I can sit up and cry with you.". And he did. He was 6, almost 7. I was home. There is a song by Randy Newman, called "Feels Like Home". I posted it on facebook, and here as well. Listen to it, and I hope you all can go to that place that is home for you. Be well!!!