Family First

So in my last post, (i know, it's been a while), I said I'd talk about some of the things my father communicated to all of us on his deathbed. We were very blessed to have the time to say goodbye to my father the way we did, and he communicated some very clear things.

One thing my father said over and over again was family first. That's become our family's kind of motto since he passed. He reminded all of us how important that was, and that no matter what, it was always us-my family. He told me to be strong, and be there for everyone. (Tall order dad, but thanks for challenging me!!!) He begged me to fix my marriage, fix my relationship with my oldest boy. He said over and over again, he loved us, and we meant the world to him. And as if to pass the family first idea to the next generation, he begged us to never forget him, never let the kids forget him, and tell them everyday papa loves them.

His passing and the way it happened was amazing. Just proved that when it comes to my big, crazy family, we get it. Family first. My dad's sister Lisa had been living here for a few months now, helping us care for my dad. She made it her mission to be there for us. Whether it was to watch he kids for my sister and I, or take care of things at my parent's house, she was there. There were times she put aside opportunities to be with my dad, for us. She even stayed overnights with my dad in the hospital so we could rest. I mentioned in my dad's eulogy that she was sent here for such a time as this, and I meant it. She was such an important part of the whole ordeal. She had our back. Then there was my aunt Missy. She was there by my dad's side when we needed a break, or to eat, even grab a cup of coffee. She cried with us, hugged us, talked to us, and was there. Even after he died, she was there with us just for encouragement, memories, and support. My aunt Cathy was amazing too, truly a rock for all of us. She put aside her grief, her hurt, and held us up. She had a special relationship with my dad, so this was difficult for her. She stayed for a week after he died just to make sure my mom and us kids were ok. She helped us pick out flowers. We even had a very silly afternoon with her, my aunt Lisa, and my brother and I, picking out dress clothes, pictures for the funeral, and just laughing and being there with us. Even now, though hundreds of miles separate us, she still has our hearts. Through the miracle of the Internet and facebook, she keeps in regular contact with us, sending us love, thoughts, and bits of encouragement, all at the right time. I wonder of she'll ever know how much all of that meant. My in-laws handled so much planning for us for the reception after. We didn't have to worry for nothing- they took care of it. My mother in law, father in law, and sister in law and I spent a couple hours the morning of his funeral just talking. I so needed that. Even my grandma Barb gave me the chance to cry and grieve, making sure I felt her love and support through the whole thing, right down to helping us with the reception hall. Right down to family that has been separated by life, distance, and years. My dad's cousins all brought food too!!! It was amazing.

It's almost like my dad planned it, all of it, just to make us further understand his point about family. Not only did everyone come together to honor my father, but so many people held us up, supported us, and put us first. My family first. OUR family first. My mother, sister, brother and I were able to grieve, plan, cry, laugh, feel love, and at times do nothing, because everyone in my father's life understood family first. I am truly blessed to have the family, extended family, and friends I have. And to my aunts, thank you all so very much for the part you play in our family.