UGGGH!!!

I wish I had something profound, inspiring, or even remotely positive to write today, but I'm fresh out. I think we're in one of those times when it seems nothing is right. We can't get ahead of the curve on anything, and the more we pray about troubles, more surface. My father's health is still failing. He was doing well for a while, but now it seems as though they are going to have to amputate his other leg. It's frustrating, tiring, and leaves us with an all consuming worry. My wife has been his main caregiver/helper, and has just recently begun to back off a little because things are strained at home. I can't help as much as I'd like with my father, so that's tough. He's been struggling with all of this too, although he doesn't talk about it much. So we worry, we stress. How are we going to handle the care he needs? What about things at home? How is he going to deal with losing his other leg? Will he even survive another surgery? All answers we don't know, and all things out of our control.

Then we have the usual issues at home. It seems like none of us are working together. We have the same issues over and over, and we hit the same wall over and over. The more we try to improve, the more little things get in the way. Its so frustrating. Exhausting too. Even today, as I was trying to work on installing a tile floor, it was one obstacle after another.

I know that sometimes my expectations are the cause. I expect support end encouragement from extended family, but I usually get stress and hurt feelings. Even on my birthday, we cooked dinner for everyone, and Emily and I ate with the kids, while everyone else ate inside. Barely talked to my mother or my father, and didn't get so much as a card. I expect that even though we are sacrificing financially to have Emily stay home, that maybe a nice house, and safe, comfortable times at home would be the norm, but that's not the case. Between dealing with the kid's issues, not being home enough to get stuff done, and the constant worries about my dad, and money being tight, even home isn't safe, comfortable. Then, I get frustrated, and angry, and the whole thing becomes a mess. Uggggh!

So what do we do. Well, the only thing we can do is keep going. We'll deal with each obstacle as it comes, deal with the cards dealt us, and go on. I gotta believe though, that some day, some how, it will be our turn to come out on top!