Unspoken Crisis

Its funny how sometimes things in our own life, and struggles we are facing from day to day are really put in perspective when you think of some of the struggles and problems others are having.

My father is in the hospital again, more dead tissue to amputate, more problems with his arteries due to the vascular disease. Still severely malnourished. He's just not doing well. I have spent alot of time with him over the last few days, and the frailty of life has really been driven home for me. He remains in good spirits though, and still made us all laugh a few times. As you can imagine, this has consumed alot of my emotions, and thoughts. Until I read the news online today.

I read of a young man, gifted and kind by all accounts, who was videotaped while engaging in a very private activity. This video was the plastered on the internet, for all of his friends, fellow students, and even family members could see. He was homosexual, and of course this story polarized everyone. You have Christians commenting on how he was distraught over his sexuality, and you have the media saying the internet was responsible. Some blaming the people who secretly videotaped him, some blaming him, and yet others still blaming his parents, for not equipping him to deal with bullies. I was appalled, disgusted, and deeply sorrowed by not only the whole incident, but the level of intolerance and lack of respect for human life that came out of all of this. To me, there is even a deeper issue that no one is speaking of.

Pheobe Prince, 15, Asher Brown, 13, Megan Meier, 13, Jesse Logan 18, Carl Walker Hoover, 11, Jeheem Herrera, 11, Eric Mohat, 17, Jon Carmichael, 13, Ryan Halligan, 13......

These are all young people, kids really, who committed suicide due to out of control bullying daily. We live in a society where if you don't have the latest electronics, nicest house, nicest newest cars, you're not good enough. If you are overweight, you're not good enough. If your gay, straight, christian, muslim, rich, poor, there is always some where, or some group of people you won't fit in with. Some of you may disagree, but that is how the world is. That in itself is bad enough, that we can't love each other, tolerate each other, and respect the sanctity of life. I have very strong religious beliefs, but I could never imagine hurting someone, physically or emotionally, just because they are different from me. As Christians especially, we are called to be loving and serving others, not picketing at parades and funerals. We should be kind, and charitable to every person, not burning Korans, or turning our backs on those in need. Our churches should be safe, warm, inviting places for everyone, instead we have Pastors judging and condemning from the pulpit. What kind of role model are these kids that are bullying others seeing? When did it become socially or morally acceptable to torture someone who is different? Why can't christians love muslims, and be tolerant, and friends with each other. Whether you agree with homosexuality or not, what happened to loving and respecting the person, for the simple reason they are alive? A life given, and created by God? Why can't rich kids befriend poor kids, and speak love and charity into their lives? Our society is creating groups, divisions of people, almost like the cast system in India. We live in an age where information is available at a keystroke, yet there is still intolerance and ignorance everywhere. Gotta have this, gotta be this, gotta wear this. It's sickening, and then we wonder why our kids are killing themselves, or others.

My middle son Nathan is very kind, very caring, and very sensitive. He's all about family, and loving people. Always finding a way to show care to others. His dreams are simple- to stay close to home, get married, and have lots of kids. (he wants 5!lol). Now, here's the other things about Nathan. He doesn't get caught up in the must have clothes, or toys. Whether you are old, young, gay, straight, cool or not, good looking or ugly, he loves you and respects you for who you are. Why can a child do this, but not adults? In reading these stories of these suicides, I though of how gentle and kind he is, and how others may want to tease him for that. I got all choked up, and immediately started looking into ways to equip all of my kids to deal with these situations. The first step is communication. My wife and I will talk with all of them to find out what is going on in their lives. The next step is our kids need advocates. Any issues at school? Call the school, and don't stop calling until the issue is resolved. Demand action. Set a clear and concise message that bullying, on any level, in any form, is NOT okay. Find out if your kids are bullying, and teach them that is an unacceptable behavior. We need to hold our teachers and administrators accountable. They need to step up and deal with bullying head on, instead of dismissing it as part of the usual teenage experience. Honest, frank discussions about bullying need to happen in school and at home, instead of just sweeping it under the rug, or ignoring it. In New York state, there are now laws against bullying. A step in the right direction, but how will they be enforced?

While I can rest assured that my kids will be fine, and I will defend them and support them to the ends of the earth, my heart grieves for these kids who don't have anyone in their lives to fill that role, or the kids won't speak up for fear of retaliation. Who will protect these kids???