This week was my 33rd birthday. Age has never been a big issue with me, but for some reason, this year, my birthday hit me hard. Maybe it was because it was a stressful year. Maybe because I have a 13 year old going into 8th grade!!! Actually, I figured out it was just frustration about things I couldn't control.
Anyway, the weekend before this week, I had planned to go on a father and son camping trip with my boys, and some other fathers and sons from our church. Campfires, good food, fishing, swimming, just hanging out being guys. Sounds like fun, right? For some reason, I didn't feel like going. I tried to find excuses to bail. Work? Nope, already had the time off. Kids? That didn't work, I was taking the boys with me. Car trouble??? Many times before, but not this time. It seemed like the one time I actually wanted something to come up, nothing did.
Then take my birthday. Had to work all day. We had planned to have a big family dinner the day after my birthday at my parents house. Before I could object, or find reasons to get out of it, my wife and parents already had the details planned and the food bought. No getting out of it.
For me, I know when I really don't want to do something that involves groups of people, or building or maintaining relationships, that means I need to do it. People were not created to be alone. It is so easy for us to isolate when we are struggling, or trying to work through some difficulties. It's safer to not be around other people when you are feeling vulnerable. It takes less effort to be alone, than it does to be around others. The problem with that is that it isn't healthy. It hurts our soul. While being around others takes work, and at times can seem dangerous, and opens us up to being hurt, it also opens us up to being loved. To being part of community. To being supported and encouraged.
Incidentally, I took my boys to the father and son campout. We had a fantastic time. We caught a ton of fish, had some great fellowship with our friends, and just relaxed. I slept better than I have in months that night. To think that I would have missed out on that if I had given in to my thoughts on skipping the trip. I also did the whole family dinner thing. Actually, I am writing this entry from my parents house now. Had a great day helping my dad, and my wife worked hard to prepare a great meal. And now, actually looking forward to seeing my whole family here tonight for dinner-even though I didn't feel like it!!!
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